dear diary
Honestly I can't take it anymore. The way my mom looks at me with disappointment kills me inside. She honestly looks at me lyke I'm a piece of shit. I'm ready to explode. I wouldn't be able to handle that if everyone looked at me lyke that no way. And Danielle omg Danielle, lately she's just been peeving me off lyke honestly okkaie i get it you and Ben didnt work out okkaie he led you on. He was drunk he didn't know what he was doing neither did you. Its not completely his fault, it happens everyone makes mistakes, its not the end of the world. Another thing that bothers me is that you get pissed at me soo easily lyke what did i do. For example, today i come to your house and than after the walk you don't even talk to me lyke okkai. whatever. and you don't even text me back. k. I'm just so confused about everything honestly. I have no idea why jordan is still mad at me. It's actually really dumb if she still is. I can't believe also Jacob doesn't give one falling fuck if we don't talk anymore. It's so frusrating that he doesnt care. I do and the fact that he doesnt care annoys me whenever I see him making me not wanna talk to him and push him away even more. UGHH whatever. Anyways, I'm soo happy me and Cameron are starting to talk again, cause he makes an amazing friend :) and honestly i missed him. Omgosh so i met this really cute guy named matt and he gave me his number. He's such a sweet guy, although i really should stop leading him on cause i have a boyfriend. He's about 2 years older than me its not like it'll work anyways. I'll let it last the weekend than I'll stop :$. He's lyke Cam all over again and I don't want that happening again cause I'll feel really bad. I'm surprised guys are interested in me :$, i mean i'm not that pretty. Danielle says he must be desparate. In my opinion, it hurt that she said that because what a hot guy can't lyke me ? Unless they are desparate lyke okaie whatever, thanks, "best friend".
I don't know these days its soo hard to trust people.i personally rarely trust people because they are so judgemental and that makes me really upset. The las thing i need right now is people lyke that in my life. That's why I decided not to tell danielle about me and James because of her reaction of other things I've told her. It's not that i don't trust her, i do ALOT. It's the fact that she'll never look at me the same again. I can't just do that. I'll tell her eventually it's hard to keep it a secret from her now but its for the best and i know that. There's just certain people you can tell certain things to and others you can't.
